Stayin' Alive
by carla-connor-corrie
Summary: some accidents are waiting to happen


**This is all just based on the spoilers, theories and hints we've been getting for the 30** **th** **anniversary of Casualty.**

* * *

"Con," The gentle touch that felt almost nothing, the weight felt like nothing compared to the weight of guilt and sadness and grief I'd been carrying.

* * *

" _Grace darling, Grace can you hear me? Grace you're going to be okay, it's going to be okay."_

" _Mum, Mum it hurts to breathe. Mum I can't feel anything."_

* * *

"Connie, it's time," The weight became heavier now, at a pressure at which I could feel it. I turned ever so slowly to see Jacob stood behind me. He had a sadness in his eyes, dark circles under them. Dark circle from staying up with me night after night as I cried endlessly and as I replayed that afternoon in my mind over and over again. He was in his best suit, all black, all black apart from his bright pink tie. Pink, Grace's favourite.

" _Grace can you try and undo your seatbelt for me?"_

" _Mum I can't move my arm."_

" _Okay, it's okay help is coming."_

" _Mum, I'm scared."_

* * *

"Hey, hey," Jacob said squeezing mu shoulder as he noticed me zone out again as my eyes fixated upon his tie.

"Hm, sorry," I said quickly then slowly stood my hand grasping Jacob's, holding it so tight as if my life depended upon it.

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah," My voice felt heavy in my chest as I spoke because you can never be ready, "Actually Jacob I just need a few minutes on my own."

"You've only got about five minutes," Jacob told me and I nodded, he smiled weakly before his lips gently touched my cheek before he left the room.

My body felt heavy as I moved across the room towards the fireplace, the fireplace full of photographs. I picked one up slowly, my pink painted nails bright against the white frame, the frame that held the most beautiful photo of my little girl. Her eyes lit up as she laughed at who knows what. Her laugh would still sound in my mind, a laugh that could fill the room.

* * *

" _You need to help Grace!"_

" _Connie just stay still for me, I promise you we're helping her."_

" _She needs her Mum."_

* * *

A few months, that's all I'd had her back for and, for the most part, we'd been on bad terms because of Jacob or I'd been at work. I never fully appreciated her, I never spent enough precious time with her. The cinema once a month wasn't enough. Time is precious, this made me realise it more than anything.

* * *

" _Can I see Grace now? I need to see her."_

" _Let me just patch this up and then we'll get you to Grace."_

" _I need to see her now, I don't care about me, I need to see my daughter."_

* * *

My nights were spent remembering the bad times, I couldn't seem to shift the bad times out of my head. Not even Jacob's arms around me like a safety net could protect me from the bad thoughts. All I could see when I closed my eyes was her face, her face full of fear, her body so still. There were times in which I could smile, the time I found my favourite photo album, full of my favourite photos of Grace.

* * *

" _How is she?"_

" _It's not looking good Jacob," I said but my eyes never left Grace, not once. She lay so still with so many tubes and wires attached to her. Tears hadn't stopped filling my eyes from the moment I first saw her._

" _She's a fighter Connie, just like her mother," Jacob's words were of some comfort but not a lot, being a parent and a doctor had its bad sides and this was one of them. Jacob pulled a chair up next to me, his arm immediately wrapping around my shoulder, my head resting upon his shoulder._

" _What if she can't fight?"_

" _I believe in her, my little firecracker."_

* * *

My eyes scanned the fireplace, photos from so many years stood before me. When she was so tiny I didn't think I'd get to watch her grow up, turns out I wasn't completely wrong. Photos of Grace on her bike, learning to ride. Photos of her blowing out candles with a smile on her face, light in her eyes.

* * *

" _Hey you, what's going on? You need to keep fighting," my hand was laced with hers as I sat close to the bed, our bodies side by side. The constant beeping unsettling my ears. "You have to keep fighting, I know you can fight this. You're the little light in my life, I promise you that when you get better it will be perfect, really perfect. Me, you and Jacob – a little family. We can go on days out, I know Jacob is desperate to go to that new trampoline park. When you go back to school in September you're starting those flute lessons and I know you're going to love it. You have to keep fighting because, Grace, you have so much ahead of you. You're capable of so much, I know you're going to achieve so much. I love you Grace, I love you more than anything in this world. I'll never love anyone the way I love you. My little miracle," Tears streamed down my face as I spoke, my grip on Grace's hand becoming tighter and the looks on the surrounding people becoming more tearful._

" _Connie it-"_

" _And we can try that new ice cream place in town and watch that new film that comes out next month; the one you really want to see. I promise you I'll be a better Mum, I'll take more time for you and for me, more us time. Grace, it will be so much better, I promise. No more silly fights, no more strict parenting. I want to make everything so much better because I love you and I want everything to be perfect. You can fight this, I know you can. Grace, don't give up. Grace please stay."_

* * *

"Connie, we need to go now."

I walked so slowly out of the house, my hand laced with Jacob's, he was my safety, my sanity. My chest hurt, unbearable pain as I was faced with the flowers, the pink and white flowers, spelling out my baby girl's name. The letters so carefully balanced against the wooden coffin. The coffin in which my baby girl lay, the coffin in which she now rest.

* * *

" _Connie, I'm so sorry."_


End file.
